frustrations

Frustrations

Strenght

Who has it?

And who is to say what in you is strong and what is not

Effort

What is it?

And who is to say that yours is worth more than mine

End

When is it?

And who is to say that the cycle even stops

Love

Where is it?

And who is to say who deserves it and who does not

Life

Why live it?

And who is to say when we live or die

frozen angel

The statue of an angel, still in time,

her stone eyes fixed upon death.

Her parted lips beckon words never said,

to grace her frozen breath.

Still wings spread eternally

for a sacred flight never taken.

Her welcoming, cold hands

are now sadly godforsaken.

Her only love is a lonely man

who sadly prays at her feet.

She hopes for the day

He will come and pray

and thier lonely souls will meet.

"My angel," he says as he kneels to the ground,

"my angle, please, heed these words I say;"

My life is growing darker, my angel,

each and every day.

I want to bask in the sun, my love,

not wallow in the night.

Please, my angel, show me love,

help me see the light."

She wishes she could help him,

to beesech to god above,

To help his godforsaken life,

to adorn him with her love.

The icy moon set from the sky,

and so began the day.

Something seemed wrong,

Something was gone,

the man had not come to pray.

The angel remained still,

bereft of her only love.

She looked sadly to the sky,

to her only god above.

The days passed slowly for the frozen angel,

her existance became bittersweet.

Not long after, to her delight,

Just before the sallow fall of night,

the man was buried at her feet.

dear foreigner

You picked me from the crowd

And made me queen of the dance floor

I felt loved again in your arms

Passionately and lustfully you kissed me

Those nights on the soft moon lit beach

But you hid it well from me

The fact that you were married

promises of tomorow

I walk alone in this field,

The wind weaves through my unkept hair

As I twist grain stocks into a simple crown

It is silent in this field

Interrupted only by itself

As I tread on its sacred ground

I am alive here in this field,

Where there is no one to please but me

And where what I want is right

I embrace the open field

Breathing in deeply,

It’s a treat to smell air so fresh

This is the Promise of tomorrow

As I step back from my sacred field

I can see the brightness of tomorrow

The promises of the wind in the stocks

The promise of freedom

The promise to experience another day

I long to taste this freedom

But for now,

I will hold onto the promise of tomorrow

For it is today, and today

There is trouble beyond my sacred field

I whisper my goodbyes as I return to the reality of today

Holding onto the promises of tomorrow

english garden

A quiet wind is not but a

Soft breath whispered from your lips,

Quiet now, quiet now.

Come and whisper close,

I can hear the violets in your eyes, the roses,

The thorns are an after thought…

After tea…

A dew drop, tear drop, rain drop,

Angels are weeping for you, for your nonsensical thoughts,

Keep your heart close in your corset,

Not on your sleeve…

Your knees shake beneath your petticoats,

Tie your blustery hair, so honey and bright, with your ribbons,

Your eyes ablaze with wonderment,

Keep your stars ‘neath your lashes.

Your gentle frame drenched

With others’ sorrow is like a cup and saucer,

Blood drenched Queen Anne’s lace.

Come sit near with

Your bedazzled eyes, magnolia skin,

You are an English garden in a London fog,

Keep your imagination,

Quiet like the breath from your lips.

i see you as you are

I am just a passer by

But I see you as you are

You are lonely

Wearing your heaviest mask,

Feeling the weight of your insignificance

As you drag your misguided feet

You have been lead astray

You have chosen many wrong paths

So hang your head down low

But you cannot hide if from me

For I was once there

I extend my heart to you

Dear broken stranger

As I mutter a simple prayer

You are not alone

I am here with you

I am just a passer by

But I see you as you are

Don’t be afraid my secret friend

Look me in the eyes

And see the faith the world has in you

a 100o roses

You stranger there;

standing in my corridor,

who are you?

Which mask do you choose

to wear today?

Do you bear

the face of a fever victim

or a starcrossed lover?

Do you wear

angel wings or death shrouds?

Do you have for me

a thousand red roses

with ten-thousand thorns

or a flask of cyanide?

Are you my life's love

or my life's end?

Ah well, I suppose

it's all the same

in the end.

kill the vanitist

You're dead and rotting

A fate brought only upon

By you And your superficial

Vanity

Fake the mask

Tear away the truth

The Beauty is without

And Darkness shatters your insides

High in the facade of happiness

Posed as true

In reality a screen of smoke

It chokes away the breath of all around you

You saw yourself as Beauty

The only of it's kind

And the make up of Desire

Fooled all that saw you too

But it has long washed away

To reveal the Ugly

And without your mask

You wilt

You're dead and rotting

In a casket of truth

Surrounded by the termites

With no sense but to feed

Eyes that no longer see

Are capturing the Darkness

As you swallow up

Into nothing

To forever be haunted by the Beauty

And the face of the mask you wore

You live on in death

And past Vanity

my madness

Ive become aware that Im enslaved,

to the despiss of my mind.

I have searched the corners four,

forever there to find.

A comquilent of bitterness,

that I know for to share.

In a tranquil view of happiness,

that mankind doesnt care.

The air I breath is air for me,

and only my space matters.

Im living proof that all the world ,

is fatter in its sadness.

Which by itself,

itself alone,

breeds guilt and hands of hollow.

Madness is both pill and drink,

the hardest thing to swallow.

consequences of aftermath

On nights that are not full of moon,

I take my membrance walks.

Pass the broken buildings ruin,

where the ghost of all dead talk.

Over hills of buried flesh,

and littered mounds of bones.

To the deepest part of my backyard,

on the south side of my home.

Where Ive laid all the girls to rest,

who have pushed my love aside.

I am by far the best of men,

But I still do have my pride.

I can take a simple no,

but not a yuukish grin.

And I repay in evil ways,

every now and then.

I look upon the little hills,

Ive made with my bare hands.

And remember whom it is I placed,

in certain parts of land.

Remember how I did the things,

of which Ive no remorse.

How so it true the words you speak,

can often set your course.

So just a little word of wise,

to all who want to hear.

When speaking to some one reject,

be nice so you dont fear.

The consequence of aftermath,

if Im the one who hears...

poems whore

Love me,

want me,

read my songs.

If not for words,

I dont belong.

Ive opened up,

stretched my soul flat,

poem whores are sure of that.

Give me,

need me,

wanting more,

searching out for whats in store.

Innocent with guilt for lore,

judgment on the poem whores...

my paranoia

I sit alone inside my room,

around a paint of ugly.

Aware to me at all to soon,

wrapped in my fears and snuggly.

Afraid to leave my room for fears ,

of what may lie outside.

In the darkness of my room,

I sit alone to hide.

Hide myself from breathing breaths,

expelled by those whom near to death,

I know from GOD here lies a test,

impossible for passing.

Some may say Im paranoid,

but it is those I must avoid.

For they dont hear my head of noise,

thats driving me to madness.

If by chance they were to see,

all the fear that raptures me.

They would take a lock and key,

and keep themselves away.

Locked inside a darkened room,

around the paint of ugly.

island of sadness

I walk along your shores

Every day and yet

You don’t wash away how I feel

That is why they call you

The Island of Sadness
All you do is take our pain and suffering

And turn them against us

Some of us make it off of you and some

Of us are lost in our despair you make us feel

You are the island

That doesn’t have water

Or food

And most of all happiness

All you do is make us feel the sadness

That is inside ourselves

One day I promise I will have you

Give someone happiness when

They walk on your shores

And then they will not call you

The Island of Sadness but

The Island of Drams

down once more

I walk down the hallway

Where is my love that I once knew

I regret that day I showed her how ugly

I am with my disfigured face

I just had to remove my disguise that kept me

Hidden so well

I keep walking and I never stop looking for her

I wish I was not so ugly

I wish she would come back and we

Could be in love again

But for now I never take off my disguise that

Hides me so well

So for now I will wait for her return

livin unbeautiful

I’m insecure

Disgusted by my reflection

Like there are a million

Razor blades piercing my skin

I’m selfish and unworthy

My face is shattered

As my bones are broken

I’m losing all my hope

In a disfigured body

Useless

In a world meant

For the beautiful

Rejected

Taunted

Ruined

There’s only so much

I can take

Before I break

Before I crumble

So obscure

To those

Incepting

I hate myself

For asking for more

I don’t deserve

To taint

This world

with such an ugly bitterness

I take from those in need

All for my desire

To be seen

I out-lash at the caring

I complain

I cry out

For no reason

Full of hatred

And jealousy

I’m ugly

an ode to size

A size nought nation

Is an abomination

Girls turning to starvation

To get appreciation

Its just deprivation

Like an hallucination

A miniature generation

Not worth the aggravation

An emaciated infatuation

By what stretch of the imagination

Does this need celebration

A crazed population

The size nought congregation

Will led to early cremation

i am A girl (:

I am the girl

That the other girls taunt

My waist isn’t small

Do I deserve Love?

I am the girl

That the other girls hate

I’m perfect and pretty

Do I deserve Love?

I am the girl

That the girls all ignore

I make friends with homework

Do I deserve Love?

I am the girl

Everyone seems to like

I’m nice, cute, and smart

Do I deserve Love?

I am the girl

To whom the others girls sneer

I drink and I party

Do I deserve Love?

I am the girl

That the other girls watch

At the swimming and track meets

Do I deserve Love?

I am the girl

Other girls sing my songs

I rock out on guitar

Do I deserve Love?

I am the girl

The other girls just don’t see

You could say I’m an outcast

Do I deserve Love?

I am the Cupid

All the girls call me Love

They pray for my visits

Do I deserve you?

end of me

She says I’m Fat,

Out of Shape,

And then she says,

“You’re fine the way you are honey!”,

Confused,

I get mad sometimes,

When she calls me fat, out of shape,

Because I’m doing what I can,

While being a vegetarian,

Which is Hard,

And I can’t do tthis business,

Anymore,

I can’t do school, Girls on The Run, Writer’s Club,

And Reader’s Club,

Plus have an actual LIFE,

While she ridicules me,

She sits there,

And I wonder,

What is HER idea of ‘in shape’,

Probably stick thin,

Running every day,

And then doing,

My things,

That I do,

Every day,

I can’t stand her,

She wonders why I’m depresse and angry at home,

Because I cherish,

School now,

Because I’m not at home,

Being yelled at,

By the one person,

I look up to,

I wonder why she does that,

Yell at me,

But I guess she doesn’t know,

That when she calls me fat,

That I am hurt,

That I want to weep,

I can’t stand her laugh anymore,

Because I know,

It’s about something bad,

But I’m at the end of my rope,

Trying to hold the tears in,

But not succeeding,

Collapsing,

Under the pressure,

That I’m feeling now

angel's songs

Hide those tears girl don't let them see you weak it's not you who's done this my darling you're no freak run,run away from them all escape from their sorry lies i know what they've put you through it's not your fault you believed their lies it doesn't matter now nothing ever really does just know i'm still here for you and you know it's not you he loves i know you remember that day you relive every single detail how they broke your soul your mind, so frail and all the girls were laughing as they threw stones at you and as the blood ran down your face you didn't know what to do so you ran home to the empty house and you picked up the knife i know the hurt you were feeling as you gave up on your life you're not ugly. you're not fat and you know you're not weak believe me my girl it's not you who is the freak so run,run towards the light don't stop till you reach where you truly belong reside in heaven with me and sing the angel's song

The Dance of the Lovely Blood Rose

The arena lies dead in darkness
Still tonight there’s time for one last show
The lights stutter on
In a line one by one
In a rink where no-ones at home
There stood in the centre our Rose bathed in red
A costume that consumes from head to toe
Her expression of pain and misery lost in vein
To the sound of a tortured mans soul
As his music kicks in Rose breaks cross the ice
A deathly vision of beauty seldom seen
Carving with grace her tracks crimson laced
As the blood flows so free from her torso
With a spin of despair and an axle of fear
She dances on with the pain of the world
For on her shoulders she carries all the burdens of those
Who’s shattered dreams born the cuts worn by Blood Rose
As her dance draws to an end the light slowly descends
A crack cuts through the ice in the dimming glow
Her program skated clean
Her last red crimson dream
Swallowed by the rink that for so long has been her home
With her presence now gone the music whines and echo’s its tears
The arena shakes mourning its beauty now lost
For now where once stood grace, a now desolate space
The lost grave of the lovely Blood Rose

standin alone

To any other,
But one girl,
The mixture of
Blood,
And metal,
Is a nightmare.
It keeps parents awake
At night,
As they toss,
And turn -
Anxious;
Afraid.
It's a reality
To today's teenager -
The cuts
On their wrists,
The pain
In their hearts,
The attention
Around them.
But for some,
A very small amount,
It's a determination;
A goal.
It's treated
With ease
And delicacy -
Not to be taken lightly,
But with seriousness.
And for this one girl -
This determination;
This goal -
Is her world.
Her life.
She cuts
Only once
And deeper
Than any other.
She watches
As the blood drops
Taking the pain,
Of her heart,
With it.
For one girl
It represents
Peace,
Freedom;
A new beginning.