perfect practice

Do you understand

Do you even know

The truth behind this bilateral facade

Thatportrays what is thought to be acceptable

And not what is really real

No feeling is attached

Just different expressions to match,

Whatever or wherever the setting might be

Though a practice i still secretly long to be and show the real me

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You said i have to

Because this is what they expect

I can't imagine that this is what you always want me to be,

A statue, trophy wife with her face plastered with a smile

This case or project is one you couldn't reject,

Its what you need to get big in the industry or to gain their respect

And my life and my needs are at the bottom of the things you need

Istillpractice, though i secretly long to be free to be and show the real me

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I wanted to rebel and say no

Even to say this is not what i want anymore

But with every disaproved move i make,

Your finger nails under the table dig deepin my thigh

Causing me excruciating pain

So i hold any action i was about to take

As i continue the practice of not showing the real Annmarie Caillat

``````@```````@``````@

You smile, come closer and seem to whisper something sweet in my ear

While i smile back and pretend its not a promise for a beaten and instillation of fear

Of your hands, your fist and every briuse that will be my fate

Cause when we get home theres no way i can escape

The blows that will keep me in line as you put it

As you point on my ring finger and say, "your mine all mine until there is no breath left for you to take".

So i silently wish, though its a common practice that i could be the real me

````@```@``@

To this day we go out once in a while

To your dinners, parties and meetings with your executives

Though i wish i had the privilege of actually carrying a child or even children

To nurture and give the loving i never got from you, your family, the whole lot

But your hand is heavy and every touch is severe , so it remains one of the things i have not

But tonight is the last and i know i will make you stop,

With the beatings, lies, miscarraiges and the other women that sat on your lap,

As i secretly loaded your empty pistol with one shot

`````@``````@`````@

You walk in, expecting my wifely duties to be performed

You smile and i smile right back

Practicing has made it my prize winning act

But with my skimpy garments that i wore especially for you to see

To distract you from what i held behind me

I hold it up and squeeze and i stand there and watch your body drop

As the bullet to your chest drains the life that held me captive 10 years to be exact,

And all the practice was over

As I grasp the freedom, freedom from this wedlock.